We welcome you to our paradise!
(Realize, this is a parody religion, we are here to show you how easy it is to fight for a religious cause, even when we can't really provide any proof, as with other religions.)
What is the order of Skorn?
We are here to educate everyone about Skern, and the truth of the falsifications of God and the Bible! We are dedicated bunch to show everyone the true path to happiness in the afterlife.
What is this section used for?
1. Skorn followers discussion
2. Debate The Order of Skorn
3. Educate newcomers of Skern.
Rules
Don't curse our religion or we will beat you with a stick.
If you have a saying against us, please do so, in a civil manner, no harrassment or provacations, or we will beat you with a stick.
We will treat you the same you treat us! (Example: "Skern sucks" = We beat you with a stick)
Do not taint the newcomer, if someone must learn of Skorn than they shall not be interruped in the name of God, i think you already know the punishment...we will force you to marry a fat asain.
Ten Skornments
1. You can worship one god besides me.
2. Don't draw pictures. That is a clear sign of Satan, pictures are the devils way of saying Hello to little children.
3. Never say the two following phrases: "Skern Fucking Damn it!" or "Oh baby, Oh Skorn! Yes! I love this! Harder!"
4. Keep Holy the National Hump Day
5. Slamming your door on your parents when angry is not liked. If you leave it open they can hear you scream louder.
6. You shall not murder, murdering is not cool unless i do it, ya dig?
7. Don't gang-bang random objects.
8. Think before you take that guys wallet. Make sure you take him to a alley first.
9. Don't let bears attack your neighbors.
10. Don't covet your neighbors crap, if you want it, screw his wife for it.
Story of Skern
Early Life - Nothing is known of his young life. It was not recorded in history as he was just a average peasant, or so the elitiest assholes thought!
Realization - He realized he was a prophet immediately when he was sent to prison. God spoke to him threw the jail cells and told him of his mission to kill all the elitiests.
Imprisonment - Skern lived in the hills of Kingdom of Zeronia . One day after hard work building a new temple for the elitiest known as King Nemeni, Skern went to the City Festival. Not paying attention he went over to what he thought was a produce stand, as though he was directed by God himself. (He later recorded not actually knowing he walked over to the Stand, as God took control of him for the time) And took a bite out of the holy Kemise. Ever one stared in complete awe…. He replied "is mai zippa out bitachz?". It was the ancestral Kemise from the Shianti Dynasty! And with that bite the Kingdom was thrown in to total anarchy. Two Tribal wars fought for control of the remaning Kemise. Peasants were imprisoned for the smallest things, like murder, and for larger deals such as cheating in a Dance Dance Revolution competition. Many tried to protect Skern but with the total war declaration against him for destroying the state he could not stand a chance. After Seven Months, Eight Weeks, and Seven Days, the rival tribes finished their war (to see which would take over the Kemise was the one thing that kept them united-) and sent soldiers to Skern to finish him. They picked him out of bed (with a young women watching in awe) as he said "Sang Bitachz!" and dragged him 7 kilometers to the Dungeon. Suprisingly, he was not killed on site, this...was God's doings.
Skern was imprisoned for nearly sixteen million life sentences.
Escaping the Camp and Beginning of a Revolution! -
Order of Skorn FAQ's
Soon To Come!
Subject: Order of Skorn Official Page 
Fri Dec 19, 2008 10:39 am
